


Toffee latte

by Captain_jack_harkness



Category: All Time Low, Bandom, hustlers - Fandom
Genre: 2007, Bottom Alex, But not too sad, Fluff, Homophobia, Jack just wants alex to be happy, M/M, Mentions of Smut, One Shot, Or bad, PG, Sad Ending, Stand Alone, Start of straight, Top Jack, Tour, Tourslash, Unrequited Love, alltimefanfiction, but like not in detail, contest submission, let it roll (back to ‘07) contest, so wrong it’s right, swir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 09:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14376219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_jack_harkness/pseuds/Captain_jack_harkness
Summary: Alex just wishes that he had the option but Jack knows his best friend better than Alex knows himself. Or alternatively where Jack just wants to make Alex happy but in the process ends up making him more sad.Set in 2007 around the time so wrong it’s right was realised and tourning.For the alltimefanfiction Let It Roll (back to ‘07) contest.





	Toffee latte

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so happy I got this done because it’s been a struggle to find WiFi to post this. I’m not living at home with my parents anymore so getting this completed was hard but it’s done now and I’m really happy with it. 
> 
> My requests are open but I can’t promise a time when they will be done because I don’t know when I’ll see them.

Alex Gaskarth knew he was straight, it was just about having the option. Jack coming out as bi to the band wasn’t a big deal to him, Alex didn’t care, what Alex did care about was the fact Jack wasn’t able to come out to the fans. Jack understood but Alex didn’t, Alex insisted it wasn’t because he was he was gay or anything, Alex just wanted Jack to be able to do what he wanted, Jack wanted to come out to the fans so he should be allowed. Alex Gaskarth isn’t gay he’s just annoyed he hasn’t got the option. 

Jack Barakat disagrees. Jack knew Alex wasn’t as straight as he claimed. Durning the writing of so wrong it’s right they drunkenly and not so drunkenly fell into each other’s arms and beds. Alex claimed it was just sex and Jack isn’t saying he’s lying, Jack just knows you wouldn’t sleep with someone multiple times while sober if you wasn’t attracted to them. Alex still claimed it was just sex even after Jack bought this up to him serval times. 

“I’m not in love with you Jack.” Alex rolled his eyes. 

Both boys were alone on the bus sitting on Jack’s bunk, Alex still hadn’t put his clothes back on where Jack at least have a t-shirt and boxers on. They knew they needed to be at soundcheck soon but it was the second day of tour and both boys haven’t slept together since the day of the album release so Alex was sexually frustrated. 

“I never said that.” Jack laughed throwing the other boy his boxers, “But you are attracted to me therefore you are attracted to men.”

“I’m not attracted to you Jack Barakat.” Alex wasn’t sure if Jack was joking, either way he wasn’t he wasn’t going to say he was, Alex likes boobs, he likes tits and vagina, he likes girls, Alex Gaskarth isn’t gay, “I’m not attracted to any dude.”

“Whatever.” This time Jack was the one to roll his eyes, “We have to be at soundcheck in ten.”

Alex stayed sitting naked on Jack’s bed until Jack shrugged and leaved. Alex would be along soon he just has to think. As of recently every time the boys did something together Jack wanted to talk about it after, more specifically Alex’s sexuality. Alex thought he was straight, he just liked sex with a guy, it’s not that big of a deal. Jack is good in bed, Alex has a lot of stress, simple as that. Jack was just a way to release tension, it would be over soon.

It was meant to stop after the recording of so wrong it’s right but then Alex was stressed nobody would like the album so it carried on. When the album came out Jack assumed it would stop but less than two weeks later Alex was begging Jack to fuck him again. To Jack that was proof Alex wasn’t straight, you don’t enjoy sex with the same gender that much if you’re straight. Jack isn’t even asking Alex to come out or date him, Jack doesn’t have them feelings towards Alex. Jack just wants Alex to admit it to himself and possibly him. Jack just wants Alex to be happy. 

Alex was in a rush to get dressed already being late for sound check, the fact he was in a hurry is most likely what caused him to put his jeans on backwards and his t-shirt inside out. If Alex was actually paying attention he would have been ready and at soundcheck a lot sooner, instead he got frustrated and threw himself on the bed. 

This is Jack’s fault. Jack’s the one who likes to confuse Alex every time they fuck Jack likes to remind Alex of the not so straight feelings he’s having and Alex don’t like that. It confuses him. Alex suspects Jack gets off on it and he’s right. Jack thinks it’s hot seeing Alex all confused and flustered, Jack likes to be the one who made him feel that way. People would probably think that makes Jack a asshole when really he’s only trying to help Alex, the fact it’s hot is only a added bonus to him. He doesn’t do it on purpose despite what Alex likes to believe. 

By the time Alex was actually ready he was fifteen minutes late for soundcheck so he decided to get a coffee, he was already late so why does it matter if he’s any later? Its because of Jack he’s now stressed and well as tired so theirs no way he’s going to go without his toffee latte. Jack calls it a girly drink, he would, he drinks his coffee black just to prove a point. Alex don’t understand why people like black coffee but each to their own he thinks. 

Jack was standing outside the coffee shop, cigarette between his lips and a coffee in his hand when Alex showed up. He was confused as of why Jack was waiting for him, what if he decided not to get coffee?

“I knew you would want a coffee.” Jack said before Alex could ask, “You always get one when you’re stressed and tired.”

“How?”

“Because you always do.” Jack held out the cup, “Large toffee latte with extra toffee and extra cream.”

“Thank you.” Alex wrapped his hands around the cup feeling the warmth radiate from the cup into his finger tips, when Alex takes a cautious sip he tastes he usual drink to his surprise, Alex expected Jack to completely fuck up his order to spite him, “It’s actually my drink.”

“You sound shocked.” Jack and Alex started to walk to the venue that was only around the corner, “I wouldn’t do that even if it’s a girly drink.”

“It’s a coffee.”

“It’s mostly milk and toffee.” Jack took the drink off Alex and took a sip before handing it back, “And sugar. Way too much sugar.”

“It taste good.” Alex defended, Alex didn’t care if his drink was a girly drink, Alex liked it and Alex needed his coffee, why should he care what his bi best friend who he isn’t attracted to thinks about his choice of beverage.

~~

“Jack.” Alex whispered, Jack was in his bunk sleeping but Alex was standing over him poking him trying to wake him up, Jack knew Alex wanted something but instead stayed laying their with his eyes shut, “You’re awake stop ignoring me.”

“Are you going to stop ignoring the fact you’re attracted to men?” Jack asked opening his eyes, Alex shook his head, “Then we aren’t fucking.”

“Please.” Alex whines dragging out the words, “Jack please.”

“Admit it.” Jack laughed having power over a desperate and horny Alex who was now climbing into Jack’s bunk sitting on top of him, “Alex we both know that it’s true.”

“It’s not.” Alex wasn’t lying, he repressed his feelings towards the same gender ever since he was a teenager so now he truly didn’t believe he was anything but straight, that’s why he wouldn’t admit it to Jack, in his head their was nothing to admit, “I honestly don’t believe I’m gay or bi or whatever. I’m straight.”

“Okay then.” Jack decided to drop it knowing that Alex wouldn’t say anything yet, he just moved over in the bunk so he was pressed up against the wall and pulled Alex down next to him, “Let’s cuddle and you can tell me what’s bothering you bad enough you come and wake me up for sex.”

“I’m scared people don’t like the album.”

Jack brushes Alex’s hair out his face and looks into his eyes, Jack could see fear as well as need in Alex’s face. Jack could tell what Alex needed, Alex thought he needed a distraction, Needed Jack. Jack thought Alex needed reassurance and attention. So that’s what Jack decided to give him. He kisses Alex’s forehead causing a small smile to appear on Alex’s face. 

“Everyone loves the album Alex.” Jack let Alex cuddle into his shoulder, “I know you’re just super stressed and paranoid right now but everyone loves the album.”

“I just want a distraction for a little bit.” Alex said, he wanted to be fucked and then pass out so he didn’t have to think about it, “Please Jack.”

“Suck my dick.” Jack joked not actually expecting Alex to take it seriously so when Alex disappeared under the blankets and started pulling Jacks boxers down he was shocked, “Alex. Alex stop I was joking.”

“Why?” He asked coming back up, “I want to.”

“You’re not attracted to guys why would you want to give one a blowjob for nothing in return?” Jack wasn’t as confused as he was acting to Alex, Jack knew Alex was secretly attracted to guys even if Alex himself didn’t know it yet, he was just trying to help Alex realise his feelings, Jack wasn’t even in love with Alex, sure he thought he was attractive but he wasn’t in love, it was just sex with his hot best friend to Jack and trying to get him to realise his sexuality was just Jack trying to help him find actual love, “That’s not a very straight thing to do.”

“Stop.” Alex whined, “You confuse me.”

“How?”

“Because you just do.” Alex couldn’t explain it so he paused to find the words while Jack started playing with Alex’s hair attempting to reassure him, it didn’t help Alex concentrate because he was too distracted by Jack’s hands in his hair to think properly, the only thing going through his mind was Jack, Jack, Jack, “I’m not attracted to guys though. I like boobs.”

“So do I.”

“You know what I mean.” 

~~

Somewhere while playing let it roll Jack abandoned his guitar and was pressed up against Alex wrapping his arms round him. The fans where going wild. Alex didn’t know it was happening so when he felt Jack’s crotch pressed up against his ass he gasped and stuttered out the next line before laughing it off. Alex kept on singing while Jack run his hands up his top and sings in Alex’s ear occasionally nibbling at it until the song was over. 

“Jack you should be playing.” Alex said as Jack laughed and his hands start to reach lower, “If you touch my dick I’ll cut yours off.”

“I’ll do it later then.” Jack kissed Alex’s cheek before running off to get his guitar.

The rest of the show went amazingly even though he couldn’t stop thinking about Jack’s body pressed up against his. He wanted Jack, he hasn’t done anything with Jack that went further than making out since before they cuddled a few weeks ago. That’s probably why when Jack pushed Alex up against the wall instead of brushing it off and playing it off as a joke he wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck and pulled him in closer. Alex loves kissing Jack and would happily admit that Jack is the best person he ever kissed. He loves the feel of the other boys lips on his. Jack was shocked that Alex wanted to kiss him in front of everyone but Jack happily kissed back, he thought that maybe this was Alex’s way of admitting he’s attracted to men. 

“Are you Gay now as well?” Rian asked Alex and he just shook his head smiling. 

“He refuses to admit it.” Jack laughed just as Alex pulled Jack back in for another kiss, when they broke away again Alex whispered I’ll speak to you later.

Jack got back to the bunks that night before anyone else. Alex wanted to talk to him so he wanted to be their ready for when he wanted to. Jack was pretty sure what Alex was going to say, he just needed Alex to confirm it, once Alex admits to himself he’s going to be so much happier, also him and Alex can go back to their casual sex again because he missed that. The only reason Jack stopped it was to help Alex, if it worked it would all have been worth it to help his best friend. 

About a hour later Alex walks in and sits next to Jack on his bunk, Jack sits waiting for Alex to talk. He doesn’t. 

“So?” Jack asked, he wanted to get back to how he and Alex was a few weeks ago, the sooner Alex admits he’s attracted to men the better it will be for both of them. 

“I think I’m attracted to men.”

“Knew it.” Jack pushes Alex down on the bed and Alex wraps his legs around his waist refusing to let Jack leave him, “Now if you only admitted this weeks ago.”

“Shut up.” Alex mumbled as he pulled Jack’s t-shirt over his head before pausing, “This is still only sex right?”

“Of course.”

~~

“You know that the record label isn’t too happy about you and Jack being together.” Zack told Alex. 

Both the boys where sitting at a table in a mostly empty coffee shop, Zack had a white coffee and Alex had his usual toffee latte with the extra toffee and squirty cream. Everyone’s caught Jack and Alex together so many times Alex just decided to come out as bi and tell them him and Jack aren’t dating. Alex didn’t particularly want to come out, he didn’t not what to but he didn’t feel the need to. It’s not as if anything changed or he wasn’t already opening kissing guys, just now it wasn’t a joke. It was still a secret, just one he shares with a few more people. Alex didn’t care if it got out to the world, Alex just decided it was a thing and he couldn’t change it. 

“Me and Jack aren’t together.” Alex sipped his drink tasting mainly the cream that was on top, “It’s just sex.”

“But you act like you’re together?” Zack was confused, Jack and Alex was always doing things to make them seem like a couple, Jack always went and got Alex’s coffee and Alex always bought Jack’s food, that’s just what they did, “You tell Jack you loved him after a show the other night.”

“I was overwhelmed with excitement I don’t love Jack.” Alex kept drinking his coffee assuming the conversation wasn’t as shocking to Zack as it was. 

Zack wasn’t the only one who thought Jalex was actually real. Everyone on tour with them thought it. Before the backstage kiss they all thought it was jokes or just for the fans amusement but after that Jack and Alex have been a lot more open. They’ve been randomly kissing and instead of going back to their separate bunks after sleeping together they’ve just decided to fall asleep in each other’s. More than a few times Zack has woken up to find Jack and Alex wrapped in each other’s arms. Zack honestly found it adorable and thought they was in love, to anyone else it looked like they was.

“You guys are so in love but you don’t know it.” Zack said and Alex just shrugged, “And it’s sad you have to keep it from us because the label don’t like it.”

“I’m not keeping anything from you.” Alex just wished Jack was here to tell everyone, people listen to Jack because he knows what he wants, Alex thinks he knows what he wants but he doesn’t radiate the same aura of certainty that Jack pulls off, “Sure if me and Jack was together it would be upsetting but we aren’t. It would be nice to have the option.”

“You said that about being gay.” Zack pointed out. 

“What?”

“You said you was annoyed that Jack had to pretend to be straight for the fans was only about having the option and not about you being gay.” Zack reminded Alex, Alex didn’t know what to say so he sat thinking, he knew he wasn’t in love with Jack, he was attracted to girls more than guys anyway, Alex was pretty certain he was going to marry a woman and have two kids, he wasn’t going to marry Jack. 

“Oh well I’m not in love with Jack.” Alex decided on after about two minutes of thinking in a awkward silence. 

“Fine.” Zack just dropped the conversation and let Alex finish his girly drink pretending he didn’t see the texts from Jack that only made him think Alex and Jack where in love and hiding it from them. 

Alex didn’t know everyone thought this and just thought it was Zack overthinking. That’s why he wasn’t worried and sat their drinking drinking his coffee without a care in the world. He didn’t know that Jack was stressed, he didn’t know what pressure the rest of the band was under to protect him. He didn’t know how badly everything was going to go for him. Maybe if he didn’t drunkenly accept that blowjob from Jack durning the writing of so wrong it’s right none of this would be happening and Alex’s world would be fine. He wouldn’t be about to experience everything change. 

~~

“Here.” It was the last day of tour and Jack got up early to get Alex his coffee, Jack was feeling the pressure from the label as well as the stress he’s under by protecting Alex from all of this, it was unfair for Alex to go through this when two weeks ago he thought he was straight, Jack gave Alex his coffee, “I need to talk to you when you wake up properly.”

“Okay.” Jack watched Alex smile as he drunk his coffee and came to the realisation that Alex Gaskarth was completely head over heels for him. 

Jack couldn’t believe he never noticed it before. He never noticed the way Alex looked at him, how his eyes lit up whenever he looked at him. The way he smiled when Jack accidentally touched him and the way he lent into Jack when he meant to. Alex may not have realised he was in love with Jack but Jack did. Jack saw how Alex wanted him, needed him and Jack knew that what they was doing couldn’t go on. Jack didn’t love Alex back, at least not in a romantic way. He loved Alex as a friend, he loved the way Alex looked underneath him but if he tried to picture marrying Alex he just couldn’t. It felt wrong. He wasn’t in love with Alex. Now that Jack knew about Alex’s feelings he felt that it was now his responsibility to end what they had going on before it went too far. Originally he was just going to tell Alex that he couldn’t protect him anymore and has to stand up to the record label himself but now he’s going to stop it completely. 

“I don’t understand why you like that stuff.” Jack want to delay what he was about to say knowing it would crush Alex, all he ever wanted was to see his best friend happy but now he was about to break his heart. 

“It’s nice.” Alex defended still blissfully ignorant of everything, that’s something Jack likes about Alex, Alex isn’t dumb but he isn’t very observant it sometimes makes him seem so innocent when he’s far from it, he’s just slow sometimes, “You don’t give it a chance and just judge it before you actually try it.”

“Fine.” Jack took Alex’s drink and took a sip, he looked at Alex who was waiting for him to drink more so he did, Jack just wanted to make Alex happy before he dropped a major truth bomb, “It’s too sweet and milky.”

“It’s really good.” Alex took the cup back smiling. 

“You’re in love with me.” Jack blurred out unable to hide it anymore, Alex took a sip and his face dropped, “So I think we should stop this.”

“What?” Alex asked, he probably didn’t realise that the expression on his face was one of a lost puppy, Alex probably didn’t realise that Jack could read this expressions like a book, “Jack I’m not in love with you.”

“You are Alex.” Jack held Alex’s hand across the table, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Jack.” Alex’s voice broke as he spoke, to Jack that was only more proof his friend was in love with him and heartbroken that it was ending, Alex’s brain scurried to find a reasonable excuse for why he was so upset, “I’m not in love with you.”

“Why are you upset then?”

“I’m upset I got rejected.” That’s the conclusion Alex’s brain came up with and now Alex was convinced, the lie fits what he wanted to believe so he accepted it as truth, that was the problem with Alex, he believed what he wanted to, he had selective hearing, if Alex didn’t like something then he refused to believe it, he didn’t like the fact he was in love with his best friend so he ignored everything in front of him and didn’t believe it. 

“Okay.” Jack knew the truth but decided to just leave it, Alex would accept it in his own time and Jack knew that, it wasn’t worth trying to show him the truth right now, he wouldn’t believe it, if anything it would only make him believe the lie he created even more, “I still want to break it off Alex.”

“Can we have one more night?” Jack took one look into Alex’s sad eyes and gave in to his request. 

“Sure but that’s the last time.”

“I’m fine with that.” Alex lied, he wasn’t fine with that, Jack knew he wasn’t fine with that but Alex wanted to convince himself and Jack that he wasn’t in love.

~~

“You seem sad.” Rian said sipping on a glass of water Alex gave him. 

Ever since Alex had his last night of fun with Jack he’s been feeling down. At first he just thought he was sad tour was over but as time went by he started to realise he was missing Jack. 

“I’m fine just tired.” Alex easily lied, he didn’t even have to think about it because it’s the same lie he’s been telling everyone who’s mentioned how down he looks, Alex things if he keeps telling himself he’s just tired he would believe it just like his friends have, “I just haven’t slept properly since tour ended.”

“Is that it?” Rian was the first person to question Alex’s lie, Rian saw Jack the day before and he had the same lie, Rian didn’t know why Alex and Jack was down, he assumed they had a argument at the end of tour that they never resolved but that wasn’t true, Alex and Jack ended tour on a positive note. 

Jack was just upset tour ended because then he was alone, he somewhat regrets ending his fun with Alex because if Alex was their he wouldn’t be alone. Jack only somewhat regrets it because he doesn’t love Alex and knew it would only hurt Alex more. What Jack doesn’t know is Alex is hurting right now. Alex just wants to here from his best friend, Alex just wants Jack to show up at his door so they can hang out. Jack thinks Alex is angry and wants nothing to do with him. 

“I’m fine honestly.” Alex laughed off the question, “It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Rian didn’t believe anything Alex was saying but he decided not to push him any further, Alex wouldn’t say anything anyway, he’s hardly able to admit to himself he’s in love with Jack Barakat. 

It was never about having the option for Alex Gaskarth however much he tried to convince himself it was just that. It wasn’t about having the option not to be straight. It wasn’t about having the option to date Jack. It was because Alex Gaskarth was bisexual and head over heels for his best friend. It wasn’t about having the option it was wishing he did. Alex never got a chance. Maybe if he realised sooner he would but instead he’s just alone. He’s unhappy. Now Alex doesn’t want to know, he wishes he never wanted the option, he wishes he never done the things he did. It was amazing while it lasted but now it’s all came crashing down. Alex wishes he was blissfully ignorant once again because now he’s unhappy. 

It was never just about having He option because Alex Gaskarth wants to date Jack Barakat. 

it was never just about having the option because Alex Gaskarth isn’t straight. 

He wishes it was just about having the option because Alex doesn’t have the option to be happy. The only thing Jack ever wanted to do was make Alex happy but in trying to do that he just made Alex more miserable than he was when he was blissfully ignorant. Alex wants to be blissfully ignorant once again.


End file.
